How To Cultivate Healthier Relationships Based On Your Enneagram Type

Enneagram Compatibility For Every Number

One thing I really like most concerning the Enneagram is it gifts humanity a typical language. It’s something that reminds us that everybody sees and interacts using the world diversely, also it invites us to develop as individuals whilst encouraging us to higher understand others.

Using the Enneagram, we open ourselves as much as awareness. No more will we see the world via a narrow lens. Rather of demanding that others do and see things with fit, we learn how to celebrate every individual number. Furthermore, we gift each other permission to take part in relationships as our most authentic selves, moving beyond accusations and combative language incompatible. In performing all this, we are able to experience much deeper connections and thrive together.

Unsure what number you’re? Start here. Then take a look at our productivity strategies for each Enneagram number.

Type One

Embrace Imperfection as Perfection

Strengths & Challenges Several brought through the relentless inner critic, Ones live to create themselves and all of those other world better. Their finest fear is they are innately bad thus, they’re always striving to enhance themselves. In relationships, healthy Ones are enjoyable, carefree, and simple-going individuals. While still driven by perfection, they’ve got more elegance on their own yet others. If not in health, Ones face the task to be excessively critical, persistent, and exacerbated.

If You Are A 1:

“A number brought through the relentless inner critic, Ones live to create themselves and all of those other world better.”

You see everything, and you’re dedicated to inner and exterior perfection. The saying ‘done is preferable to perfect’ doesn’t affect you. Your moral compass and want to reform the planet is really a effective trait when positively channeled. Resist the need to criticize yourself yet others, though.

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Realize that, when you believe critique is essential for growth, not everybody resonates with this thought process. Practice letting things go. Seek peace (not perfection) inside your relationships, and don’t forget: you aren’t accountable for others. The earlier you embrace imperfection like a component of existence, the earlier you’ll find peace and uncover the force growing healthy relationships.

If You Value A 1:

When associated with Ones, help remind them that they’re innately good. Because Ones see flaws everywhere, it’s necessary to assist them to shift their thinking, to provide them a good amount of kindness because they learn how to silence their inner critics.

“Be incredibly gentle when delivering critique.”

Ones will also be tidy figures, so that they appreciate whenever you respect and recognition their requirement for order and cleanliness. Above all else, be incredibly gentle with Ones when delivering critique, out on another place their nitpicking personally. Around the hard days, remember-however critical Ones are in your direction, they’re much harder on themselves.

Type Two

Take care of Others by Taking care of Yourself

Strengths & Challenges Twos are naturally intuitive to the requirements of others. Those are the most empathetic and caring number around the Enneagram, plus they carve their way with the world via connections-they construct their identities according to interactions with other people. For example, Twos will call themselves by many people names (Parent, Partner, Friend, Employer), but they’ll frequently forget there is a personal identity aside from their caretaker roles.

Healthy Twos understand how to balance self-care carefully for other people within their relationships, while unhealthy Twos could be disingenuous. Despite believing their motivations are non selfish, they’ll take proper care of others exclusively to stroke their egos. The task for Twos in relationships would be to remain grounded within their individual identities, whilst serving others.

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If You Are A 2:

“You thrive in relationships when there’s a mutual cooperation.”

You are able to find it hard to express your personal needs in relationships. You are aware how to provide til you have nothing left to provide, as well as then, you’ll ignore your requirements. Keep in mind that proverb about how exactly we can’t pour from a clear cup? Allow it to be your ultimate goal you prioritized self-care and fill your cup. Meeting your personal needs is only going to permit you to better take care of others.

You thrive in relationships when there’s a mutual cooperation. While it’s simpler that you should ignore your needs and wants, this can only result in bitterness of others. Trust that all your family members want to look after you, plus they adore you aside from your caretaking superpowers. Lean to your relationships and allow your guard lower.

If You Value A 2:

The easiest method to love a 2 is to assist them to love themselves. Help remind them that they’re not really a bottomless well which their identity is not obsessed with who or the things they take care of. Don’t just tell a 2 to prevent and take care of themselves, though-help pave that path on their behalf.

“The the easy way love a 2 is to assist them to love themselves. ”

Twos will also be verbal processors, so becoming an excellent listener while engaging them in conversation is important for any healthy relationship. Simply because they fear the expression of the wants and needs, Twos needs individuals to fight on their behalf, and also to help remind them, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Type Three

Shapeshift In to the Real You

Strengths & Challenges Threes are shapeshifters. They are able to put on numerous hats to suit various roles in society, plus they lengthy to become celebrated for his or her successes. If Threes aren’t careful, they are able to lose touch using their true selves and start to think their built images are authentic representations.

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Threes are go-getters and goal-setters they understand how to motivate others to attain apparently impossible tasks. However, they may be highly competitive and demand praise and recognition. Relationships with Threes can, at occasions, feel fake and dishonest, particularly when they disconnect using their feelings and also the present moment.

If You Are A 3:

“Peace and rest can come whenever you learn how to disconnect outward success together with your value as a person.”

You’re image-conscious and driven by the requirement for recognition. You’re vulnerable to making work the middle of your existence, and you’ve most likely had several relationship suffer due to this. Remember, the folks inside your existence adore you-and never the effective-shapeshifting-you, however the real you. You aren’t that which you do, even though there’s no problem with wanting is the best, it’s essential to practice healthy work limitations.

Also, build relationships your emotions instead of burying them inside. Concentrate on the present moment as opposed to the future. Peace and rest can come whenever you learn how to disconnect outward success together with your value as a person. With this particular mindset, your relationships will start to thrive.

If You Value A 3:

The Threes inside your existence feel a desire to produce a facade they feel you’ll love. Edge in the game simply because they don’t think they’re valuable because they are, and therefore they turn to performance. For this reason it’s necessary to discourage shapeshifting inside your relationships with Threes. This can be done by acknowledging their successes, although not attributing these achievements for their worth. Vocalize your passion for them and discourage built personas.

“Vocalize your passion for them and discourage built personas.”

Furthermore, be aware that Threes are future-oriented and may appear distracted in conversations-don’t take this personally. It normally won’t like dwelling around the past or diving too deep into feelings, despite finding yourself in the sensation triad around the Enneagram. Provide them with their space to operate hard (they’re great in internet marketing!) whilst encouraging these to practice healthy limitations.

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Type Four

You Belong Because You’re Unique

Strengths & Challenges Fours love connection and relationships, despite believing they don’t belong. Despite the fact that Fours frequently think they are an excessive amount of, too complicated, and too untidy for many of society, they’re resilient and relentless within the quest for authentic connection. Many Fours will also be artists they frequently gift their communities with profound and moving creations.

In their best, Fours might help others build relationships feelings, to lean in to the dark corners of existence. Challenges come once they trust their feelings as truth, due to the fact their feelings frequently let them know they’re innately problematic. At these times, Fours may become moody and unappeasable, detaching in the world and spiraling right into a condition of melancholy.

If You Are A FOUR:

“You are little, and it is okay to feel misinterpreted.”

You’re enticed to adapt with regard to belonging, and also you reside in tension-you need to be accepted by society, however, you also lengthy to stick out. This tension leads you to definitely believe there’s a problem together with your wiring, and it is simple to convince yourself that you will never thrive in relationships and have genuine connections. Thus you envy-you envy other relationships, and also you desire the comfort other figures have based in the world.

Remember, though, the standard moments are simply as beautiful because the remarkable ones. You aren’t an excessive amount of, and it is okay to feel misinterpreted. It is also okay to possess a small circle of intimate relationships as opposed to a large number of buddies. Not everybody will enable you to get, and that’s perfectly fine-you’re unique, remember! You thrive in relationships with individuals who are able to appreciate all your layers. Uncover peace by embracing the standard and pushing using your anxiety about abandonment.

If You Value A FOUR:

“Fours offer profound connection and gift others a secure space to interact with hard feelings.”

Getting rapport having a Four could be overwhelming if you are not prepared for the complexness of the feelings, but staying with them is really worthwhile. Fours offer profound connection and gift other Enneagram figures a secure space to interact with hard feelings. They understand how to hold pleasure and despair within the same hands. Fours understand how to experience all the feelings, plus they prefer it by doing this. Its not necessary to complement their mood, you need to be in keeping with what you are. Couple of things more significant to Fours than authenticity.

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Also, Fours prefer one-on-one conversations to group gatherings, and they should be told that they’re understood. In discussions, be intentional to pay attention and help remind them their seen and known.

Type Five

Balance Your Isolation with Belonging

Strengths & Challenges Fives are private, self-reliant, and analytical people. They gather information and understanding before investing in just about anything, including relationships. On their behalf, relationships can seem to be dangerous, also it can be challenging to allow them to open and share their feelings. While a 5 brings numerous strengths to relationships (vision, insight, curiosity, intellect), they fight to appear whatsoever. Even if they are doing, there is a limited well of one’s to invest on others.

If You Are A 5:

“You are brave for turning up despite your fears and preferred condition of isolation.”

Associated with others can seem to be impossible, and you’ll end up contemplating whether relationships count the price (they’re). You’re brave for turning up despite your fears and preferred condition of isolation. Although some relationships will need more of your stuff than the others, you will be glad you pressed into connection-Fives which have come before you decide to promise just as much.

From your requirement for time alone, self-care is vital. Don’t feel ashamed for requiring an individual next day of connecting with other people. You thrive in relationships whenever you practice balance, may it be balancing solitude with relationships or balancing your ideas with feelings and actions.

If You Value A 5:

In relationships, Fives need space to process. They require time for you to translate their feelings into ideas before responding, plus they desire conflict to become minimal and simple. Furthermore, they require a light push to interact using their feelings. Fives will frequently revert to thinking, so keep nudging them, and help remind them their vulnerability is really a gift, not really a burden.

“In relationships, Fives need space to process.”

Furthermore, Fives prefer to have a small circle of buddies. It is because they’ve limited energy and want to invest it on individuals they’re nearest with. Fives could be sarcastic, and they’re confident with stimulating routines and existence rhythms (even though they dread repetition). Promote a proper relationship by respecting and nurturing these traits.

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Type Six

Brave Fear to locate Community

Strengths & Challenges It’s thought there are more Sixes on the planet than every other number around the Enneagram, that is a beautiful factor because Sixes are worried using the common good. They’re also several deeply dedicated to loyalty. In relationships, Sixes are sincere and engaged, plus they value authenticity and genuine connection. They also have a problem with fear. Sixes face a distinctive challenge for the reason that they fight to forgive and end up forgetting. For them, forgiveness is an indication of weakness, plus they believe they have to guard and safeguard themselves from potentially hurtful people.

If You Are A SIX:

“Cling for this truth: the planet consists of mostly good and honest people, plus they need to interact with you.”

You aren’t wrong for the skeptical nature, but there’s something beautiful to become acquired by embracing the unpredictable moments of existence and untidy relationships. Practice having faith in yourself first of all, and accept you have all the tools you have to handle situations and relationships. It’s not necessary to overcome your fear-just tell it to go into the backseat.

Most significantly, slow lower and breathe before answering others. This should help you to get away from your mind making more grounded decisions. Hang on to this truth: the planet consists of mostly good and honest people, plus they need to interact with you. Once you understand to believe yourself and trust others, you’ll thrive inside your relationships.

If You Value A SIX:

“Remind Sixes of the commitment and cause them to become trust their very own encounters.”

It might be an error to inform Sixes they don’t be concerned. This can be a truth they have to uncover themselves, plus they do not need others to minimize their fears. Rather, help remind Sixes of the commitment and cause them to become trust their very own encounters.

Sixes aren’t insecure but calculated, and often they fight to determine the very best in other people. Promote loyalty by staying away from an excessive amount of spontaneity and respect their requirement for routine. It’s helpful to understand that Sixes find it difficult to vocalize their ideas in tangible-time (they require space to judge their feelings), so don’t write them off as indecisive. They simply need time for you to consider their decisions.

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Type Seven

Embrace Feelings as the Next Adventure

Strengths & Challenges Sevens are excellent buddies, partners, and co-workers. They’re fun and positive, driven by adventure along with a lighthearted spirit. They’re experts at connecting using their inner child, plus they help remind average folks how you can play.

Sevens find it difficult to confront their feelings, particularly when they see their feelings as negative. In their best, Sevens are foragers of hope-they lengthy for any safe world and select to determine the very best in people. In their worst, they may be hardheaded and opinionated, neglecting to see details and barely doing it on commitments.

If You Are A SEVEN:

You’re light and pleasure inside your relationships, however your continuous quest for pleasure could make all your family members seem like their presence isn’t adequate. Since you are future-oriented, you ask for the next best experience of existence. True peace is only going to come whenever you learn how to balance this energy and embrace the current moment for what it’s.

“Pay focus on who you’re with and just what you’re doing.”

Focus on who you’re with and just what you’re doing. When difficulty and discomfort come (and they’ll), attempt to sit with individuals feelings. Your instinct would be to reframe negative encounters into positive ones, but don’t forget: discomfort has something to educate us, too.

If You Value A SEVEN:

Much like Sevens can educate other figures how you can play, other figures can display Sevens steps to make room for holding negative feelings. Naturally, Sevens believe they’re simple creatures with couple of feelings (this isn’t true). Showing a Seven that humans are complicated having a wide array of feelings is among the best gifts you are able to offer them.

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“Sevens don’t prosper with codependence and may feel trapped through the needs and expectations of others.”

Because Sevens are naturals at repressing feelings, it’s essential to keep yourself informed their discomfort can present itself as anger or shame. In addition, as energetic and driven people, they need a ton of time alone to balance time spent with other people. Sevens don’t prosper with codependence and may feel trapped through the needs and expectations of others. Getting your personal hobbies and activities is essential for any healthy relationship.

Type Eight

Come Unglued with regard to Love

Strengths & Challenges Eights are action-oriented leaders. You realize them (or are among them) simply because they like to take control and therefore are always around the search for solutions. Eights are high-energy people and discover meaning in being bold the underdogs on the planet. In their best, they’re supportive, playful, and generous within their relationships.

If not in operating health, Eights may become aggressive and combative possible it especially hard to connect with thought and feeling-driven figures. Eights could be mistyped as bullies or bossy figures (this is also true for ladies who’re Eights), as well as their intentions are misinterpreted. Eights fear being controlled and distrust their feelings. They have a tendency to protect themselves in relationships and steer clear of any vulnerability which will expose their weaknesses.

If You Are AN EIGHT:

“Listen and observe others before reacting, and can include others when creating decisions.”

You’re a born leader, and individuals wish to follow you, but may they’ll go together with your plan simply because they seem like it normally won’t possess a choice. Keep in mind that not everybody else is action-oriented. For many, pausing to consider and feel before investing in action is exactly what feels natural. Listen and observe others before reacting, and can include them when creating decisions. Make sure you are clearly articulating your expectations and making others feel been sent. If you’re able to allow yourself the liberty to become vulnerable, you’ll thrive in relationships.

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If You Value AN EIGHT:

Eights have to be met on their own level. They value honesty and simple communication (don’t beat round the plant). Keep in mind that their aggression isn’t personal-most likely, they’re not considering you but rather attempting to safeguard themselves and control their atmosphere.

“Eights value honesty and simple communication (don’t beat round the plant).”

To possess a healthy relationship by having an Eight, be direct, and remain in keeping with what you are. When you can’t pressure an Eight to become vulnerable, you may create a secure space for expression. Generate the respect of the Eight, and you’ll end up within an incredibly deep which stimulates relationship. Otherwise, though, take it easy. Eights are guarded using their feelings and just fit a little circle of intimate relationships within their lives, and that’s okay! Should you aren’t within this circle, it doesn’t mean it normally won’t as if you rather, they’ve at their maximum their current convenience of emotional connections.

Type Nine

Incorporate Your Voice towards the Conversation

Strengths & Challenges Nines would be the chameleons from the Enneagram, and they’re experts at adapting and associated with the many other figures. This really is both a strength along with a challenge while Nines understand how to make everybody feel seen, it isn’t uncommon to allow them to lose themselves in relationships.

Nines hang on to the lie that neither their presence nor their opinions matter. This could make sure they are appear like easy-going figures, while in realization they are erasing themselves with regard to maintaining your peace. Their challenge in relationships is they may become distracted, aloof, and passive-aggressive towards others. In their best, Nines understand how to risk conflict for connection and fearlessly assert their opinions if this matters most.

If You Are A NINE:

“Your voice matters, and once you discover it, your relationships knows no bounds.”

Your remarkable power is you can see all of the sides in almost any conversation. Although this makes it difficult to find and assert your voice, you’re excellent at articulating everybody else’s’. Additionally you take serious notice of individuals who’re being overlooked (do that on your own, too!). Keep in mind that there’s no such factor as conflict-free relationships, and staying away from conflict is counterproductive-it simply instigates more conflict.

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Lean in to the hard conversations and name your emotions. Take small steps by voicing your desires to folks you are feeling safest with. They’re asking in regards to you since they’re genuinely interested. Your voice matters, and once you discover it, your relationships knows no bounds.

If You Value A NINE:

When associated with Nines, there’s a couple of thing to remember. First, include them inside your decision-making processes. Simply because they will gravitate from voicing their opinions, encourage them by presenting multiple-choice questions instead of open-ended ones (because these could be overwhelming). For instance, ask, “Would you love to visit here or here?” instead of, “Where would you like to choose dinner?” Nines likewise need affirmation when they’re honest, so celebrate the moments they are doing speak up on their own.

“Nines need affirmation when they’re honest, so celebrate the moments they speak up on their own.”

Second, learn how to recognize a Nine’s passive-aggressive nature. It normally won’t explode with built-up rage like Eights. Rather, they bury it inside and allow it to in non-verbal and indirect ways. Assistance to promote positive expression by cultivating peaceful environments and providing Nines time for you to process. Understand that they’ll ‘t be as direct in conversations and can eventually share their sufferings along with you after they feel safe. Once they do attempt to bury their feelings and pretend like things are fine (this really is instinctive), lightly help remind them that naming their hurts can result in health, healing, and profound reference to others.